Duck Duck Cougar?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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