wat bout pragnant strippers??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
