She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
