that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You're a waste of cheezeits
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
