we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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