I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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