spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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