do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
