Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
