Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
