For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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