don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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