I accidentally had phone sex last night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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