Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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