I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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