Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
