Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
