they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
