The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
