you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
