A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
