I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
