and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
