I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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