someone get that fucking seahorse.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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