You're earring is so big in my mouth
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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