the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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