i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
