plz talk dirty to me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
