You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
