doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence