I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies