sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch