I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.