oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Randomize
