i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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