i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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