I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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