yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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