Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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