Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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