hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
