they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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