She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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