We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
