As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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