so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize