too bad you live with your parents still
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm like, not good at living.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
