Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
