dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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