i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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