God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
