I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
