I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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