I wannas sexs uuuuu
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
