Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
