I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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