Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
