I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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