whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Michael Bay diarrhea
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
