Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
