...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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