Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I look better un-naked...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
there is glitter all over my balls
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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