I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize