I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
