I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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