I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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