I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Say something about gay babies.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
