Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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